Balancing Writing and Motherhood
How to be a Successful Writer with Kids
Sometimes writing when you have kids feels impossible, but it isn't. Here are some tips on how to be successful both as writer and a mother.
Write every day
Even if it's just in your journal. Even if you only have ten minutes, leave the dishes and put pen to paper. You never know what might come from that. Remember that getting yourself into the chair is the hardest part. The longer you go without writing, the harder writing becomes. Write during naptimes, early in the morning, or late at night - whatever works for you.
Accept that you will not write every day
Sometimes you won't write for weeks. Motherhood is full of the unexpected. Part of the creative process is 'filling the well' so consider the time you aren't writing as time you are collecting material. Don't waste your valuable energy feeling bad about writing you didn't do. Just focus on what you have done, and write when you can.
Make writing a priority
Think about the things you make time for in your life, besides your kids. Your friends? In-laws? Grocery shopping, buying gifts, gardening? Watching TV, emailing friends, checking Facebook? For a week, try keeping track of everything you do and how much time it takes. At the end of the week, look it over and see if there's anywhere you could take away a few minutes for writing. Put writing times in your calendar and be diigant about sitting down at the times you've selected. Treat it like a job.
Set writing goals
Setting clear writing goals can help kick start your writing when you only have a few minutes to focus. Whether it's a time goal (15 minutes a day) or a word count goal (1000 words a day), pick something that works for you and that is achievable. If you set your goals too high, you'll be disappointed if you don't succeed, but if you set them too low it will be too easy. Try a few things before you decide on the right goal for you. Some possible goals are writing a haiku a day, writing 2 pages in your journal a day, or trying to submit one story a month to a journal or magazine.
Join a writers' critiquing group
A monthly meeting gives you regular deadlines and keeps you connected to other writers. Even if you aren't able to write something to submit to the group, you can think of critiquing as a workout for your writer's mind.
Do something that excites you
The routines of having children can feel deadening to the creative spirit. When you can, find someone to babysit and go out somewhere alone. Make it a date with yourself – a time to reconnect with yourself and whatever inspires you. Go for a walk, look at the leaves, see a band. Resist the urge to go grocery shopping or start tackling your to do list. This time is just for you.
Look to other mother writers for inspiration
There are tons of mothers who are also successful writers: J.K. Rowling, Margaret Atwood, Alice Munro, and Barbara Kingsolver, to name a few. Check out Oprah's Book Club website, which features quotes from several high-profile writers about how they balance motherhood and writing.
